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Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Things That Might Make You Give Up On Your Resolutions

  • Stock market plunges; MSNBC blames your resolutions specifically

  • BFF texts you and says your resolutions are “dorky”

     
  • Turns out most of your resolutions defy laws of physics

     
  • Spill coffee all over your list; what's that say... “Quit drumking coffurk”... What the hell does that mean?

     
  • Conspiracy at highest levels of government
  • Didn't want to break your perfect record of resolution failure

     
  • Confusion about whether or not this is a “Leap Year”

     
  • Shouldn't have written resolutions on sand with a stick at the beach

     
  • Realize that letters of “resolution” can be rearranged to spell “loonies rut”

  • Resolution #1: give up on all other resolutions (hey, at least you achieved success with one resolution)

     
  • You're not feeling very resolutiony




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15 comments:

  1. SabrinaJanuary 4, 2011 at 8:32 AM

    Haha!! That list cracked me up! This year, nothing will make me give up on my resolutions!!

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  2. AnonymousJanuary 4, 2011 at 8:45 AM

    Good Morning, Jack! A most excellent start to the day!

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  3. Kerri OJanuary 4, 2011 at 9:29 AM

    Pffft, so maybe I think I CAN defy laws of physics...what?

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  4. Kelly the Happy TexanJanuary 4, 2011 at 9:39 AM

    Dude, where do you come up with this stuff? Hilarious. I'd love to come to TN and have a beer with you and Anita.

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  5. ShanJanuary 4, 2011 at 9:48 AM

    LOONIES RUT! I have to make a shirt that says that, now. Thanks a lot.

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  6. jenniferJanuary 4, 2011 at 9:57 AM

    I like resolution #1. ;) Guaranteed success!! Should help with confidence issues...

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  7. VikkiJanuary 4, 2011 at 10:06 AM

    Love it! Now... where's my list? Lost already? Why oh why didn't I file it?!?! Vee at http://veegettinghealthy.blogspot.com

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  8. SylJanuary 4, 2011 at 10:37 AM

    still making me smile in the new year Jack, that will never change

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  9. ChrisJanuary 4, 2011 at 11:46 AM

    Hilarious! I cannot believe I kept my resolution last year! But glad I did! 120 pounds GONE! And stay away! lol

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  10. gracies tough journeyJanuary 4, 2011 at 12:09 PM

    Too frickin funny. Thanks for the laugh. Gracie

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  11. Shabby Chic MomJanuary 4, 2011 at 2:02 PM

    You are so funny! Thanks for a great read!

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  12. RozJanuary 4, 2011 at 7:22 PM

    I'm gutting myself laughing. Love the words "not feeling very resolutiony"!
    Have a good one Jack!!

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  13. ChristineJanuary 4, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    Spill coffee all over your list; what's that say... “Quit drumking coffurk”... What the hell does that mean?


    man, this one did make me laugh...I think I would have spilled that one accidentally on purpose...lololol.

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  14. AnonymousJanuary 5, 2011 at 3:17 PM

    Great list. Made me spit my coffurk!

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  15. RunnergirlJanuary 7, 2011 at 2:45 AM

    As always - LOL!!!

    I'm not doing resolutions this year really. I want to do anything to avoid feeling like a failure this year!

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