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Friday, December 3, 2010

Signs You’re Not Giving 100% During Your Workout

  • Clothes actually smell better after you’re finished

  • You just logged a .5K run

  • Personal trainer keeps using you as example of what not to do

  • Guy with no arms is bench pressing more than you

  • Favorite machine:  ElevatorMaster

  • You have to ask somebody which direction to walk on treadmill

  • You’re using an inflatable kettlebell

  • According to elliptical readout, you almost burned a calorie

  • You spend 95% of your workout time “limbering up”

  • You rest so long between sit-ups that a nurse walking by starts performing CPR on you

  • You carry a water bottle packed with cherry pie filling

  • You work out in penny loafers

  • Gym nickname:  “Creampuff”

  • You leave car running during your workout

  • Favorite workout playlist on your iPod is nothing but lullabyes

  • Your gluteus never seems to get any less maximus
  • Heart rate monitor continuously flatlines

  • Your “yoga” is just you sitting Indian-style and working a sudoku puzzle


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16 comments:

  1. JuliaDecember 3, 2010 at 6:29 AM

    "You carry a water bottle packed with cherry pie filling." ... *yum!*

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Incredible Shrinking WomanDecember 3, 2010 at 7:19 AM

    Elevator master... I've worked the crap out of that machine for years! I'm especially partial to the newfound strength of my index finger from pushing the button.
    Now I'm working on the next finger in line while doing the "Minivan 5K" during rush hour... ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. RozDecember 3, 2010 at 7:33 AM

    Yet another HILARIOUS post to start my day!!! How do you think of these things???? :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. arielcircleofnineDecember 3, 2010 at 7:58 AM

    Loved it,especially "According to elliptical readout, you almost burned a calorie" HA!
    Happy Friday Jack :-D

    ReplyDelete
  5. KathrynDecember 3, 2010 at 8:02 AM

    LOLZ!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. LynDecember 3, 2010 at 12:18 PM

    LOL!! Thanks for the laugh. I hope you are smiling today as well :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. TimDecember 3, 2010 at 4:29 PM

    Very funny! LOL

    I nearly died laughing at the CPR joke.

    ReplyDelete
  8. ChristineDecember 4, 2010 at 12:59 AM

    There is a dude in my gym that always comes and always looks the same. Fat.
    Always...I have been going for 15 months and the dude looks exactly the same. I am betting on that cherry pie filling thing.

    ReplyDelete
  9. KatieDecember 4, 2010 at 8:29 AM

    I workout to make my gluteus more maximus ;)

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  10. JessicaDecember 4, 2010 at 11:45 AM

    lol! those are great!!!

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  11. TB--MilwaukeeDecember 4, 2010 at 7:20 PM

    Wish I would have thought if cherry pie filling in my water bottle!

    ReplyDelete
  12. 'DreaDecember 4, 2010 at 8:38 PM

    I wonder how many calories limbering up burns?

    Great post.

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  13. outdoor.momDecember 4, 2010 at 10:14 PM

    haha!! ugh - too familiar sounding........

    ReplyDelete
  14. ShannonDecember 5, 2010 at 6:51 AM

    Hilarious....

    ReplyDelete
  15. CJDecember 5, 2010 at 9:20 AM

    Gluteus is not getting any less maximus!! LOLZ I snorted water onto the laptop! Funny :D

    ReplyDelete
  16. PJ GeekDecember 5, 2010 at 4:01 PM

    actually he hee heeing here

    ReplyDelete