I'm taking my high school senior daughter to Chicago to see whether or not that’s the place she wants to bankrupt me. Since I’m gonna be on the road, I thought it might be a good idea to share a few more rules for healthy traveling…- Always go the wrong way on moving sidewalk at the airport
- Paying $7 for a lukewarm can on the plane will make you subconsciously start hating beer a little
- Wear the same outfit the entire trip and fill your carry-on with healthy food instead of extra clothes
- Window shopping is a good way to burn up excess calories; but remember to carefully wrap any windows you buy before bringing them back home
- It's easy to turn a hotel iron into a kettlebell; simply weld a large metal ball to the flat end of the iron. Voilá!
- Some fitness centers will let you try out their facility for free if you dress up like that Monopoly dude and say that you’re interested in buying the franchise
- Order food from room service, but have them deliver it three miles from your room
- Swallow the key to the hotel mini-bar
- Don’t forget seeds, soil and rapid-grow light bulbs so you can enjoy farm-fresh veggies while you’re away
- If you’re confronted by scary looking would-be muggers, it’s good exercise to run away from them as fast as you can
- Practice airplane bathroom yoga
- Walk all the way from your hotel room to where you hail a cab
- Remember, you don’t have to eat at fabulous restaurants just because they… excuse me… yes, reservation for two for “Sh*t”…
I'll be sure to use these on my next trip. Now where's my monocle?
ReplyDeleteIf your windows break at the security checkpoint thing, are they then considered a weapon?
ReplyDelete"Where she wants to bankrupt me"...LOL...I feel your pain, Dude. We have one in, three more to follow. .
ReplyDeleteI think they'll let you bring as many windows on a plane as you want as long as they're "trial size."
ReplyDeleteAirplane bathroom yoga, is that on Wii Fit yet?
ReplyDeleteI could have used these tips last week. ;) Happy travels!
ReplyDeleteAirplane bathroom yoga? No way man. Full contact sports in the aisles is the way to go. Running up and down slapping people on the back of the head yelling "yer it"
ReplyDeleteI hear that being tazed burns lots of calories, so one could simply piss off an airplane steward (flight attendant?) and be on the receiving end of a great mid-air work out.
Shivering also burns many calories, so I suggest acting suspiciously in the airport security line. Ask that the room be below freezing prior to being strip-searched.
Let the system work for you!
I'm in Chicago tonight myself. Darn hotel has provided "complementary water and snacks" which consists of a Milky Way bar and a bag of potato chips - no water. So far I'm holding out fine.
ReplyDeleteAh, but if you go the right away on the moving sidewalk it's a golden opportunity to perfect your long jump. I once made it 12 feet off the end of one at the Denver airport. Unfortunately, the moving sidewalks there are only 10 feet apart.... So, also good place to perfect your tuck and roll!
ReplyDeleteI think that I would like iron kettlebell way more than airplane bathroom yoga.
ReplyDeletewe always do the airport bathroom yoga.
ReplyDeletewhats the name of that pose where you work FRANTICALLY not to let any part of yer bumbum touch the seat?
the child excels at that one...
Must print this out. I am going on a work trip soon...
ReplyDeleteAlways can rely on you for sound advice Jack!