Surely you already know this (and sorry to call you Shirley), but I've been carrying around a little Philips DirectLife activity monitor in my pocket for months. It tells me if (I mean, when) I've met my daily activity goals and it allows DirectLife Coach Jen to always know exactly where I am and what I'm doing (I'm just assuming that part). Along my journey with my little DirectLife doodad, I've made a lot of friends...
Dear Jack,
I hope this email finds you doing well. This is Antonio Galván from the DirectLife marketing department. I just wanted to check in to see how you are doing and how things with your DirectLife programs are progressing?
I hope this email finds you doing well. This is Antonio Galván from the DirectLife marketing department. I just wanted to check in to see how you are doing and how things with your DirectLife programs are progressing?
What are your thoughts? How do you like it so far? Don’t hesitate to let me know if I can do anything to enhance your experience as a blogger participating in the DirectLife program.
Active regards,
Antonio.
Well, if it isn't DirectLife Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galván Puente. Isn't it about time you got a promotion anyway? I bet all the other Market Intelligence Analysts give you the business about that “Junior” part.
Some dude wants to send me a free Gruve montior to take on a test drive, but I don't know. I'm passionately in like with DirectLife Coach Jen, and you’ve always been a good guy, too (not like that bastard DirectLife Coach José... oh, I hate him so...). What do you think I oughta do? I mean, you know I'm partial to the Philips gizmo, but you gotta admit that “Gruve” is a better name. Why didn't you guys let me name the activity monitor anyway?
I do have one question you might be able to answer for me: I'm in the process of changing to a new laptop (it’s a long story, but suffice it to say that bathtub blogging is no longer permitted in the Sh*t household), and my new machine doesn't recognize the activity monitor when I plug it into the USB drive. Did I get a CD when I received it or did I download it from your site? Are you interested in buying my old laptop; it still works perfectly fine (except for the occasional spark or two).
I hope you’re doing well, too, Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galván Puente. My best wishes to you and your lovely wife Rosa and your kids Petey and Joanna (I'm totally guessing on all this family stuff, but that's really something if it turns out I'm right, huh?)
Take care,
Jack
Dear Jack,
Thanks for your answer. I have forwarded the question regarding your new laptop to our Support team and I am sure they will have the right answer.
The family guess is indeed close to reality Jack ;)
Active regards,
Antonio.
Dear DirectLife Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galván Puente,
Twenty minutes ago, the hotshots from Philips Tech Support actually busted through my skylight, rappelled down and reloaded the DirectLife software on my new laptop (they said to send you the bill for the busted skylight).
I knew I was close on the family stuff; I've been seeing a psychiatrist for a couple of years and I think it's helping me get more and more psychic.
Thanks for your help,
Jack
Dear Jack,
This is Junior Market Intelligence Analyst, Antonio Galván, with a proposal for you.
Since we first invited you, we have followed your blog and we are very impressed with the way in which you engage your friends and followers who sure see you as an inspiration for weight loss and lifestyle.
We are happy to offer you up to three DirectLife packages for three coming competitions you have in mind. We previously did something similar with Tony and it was good to see that the reward inspired some followers to run 5K.
Please let me know if you think this is an offer interesting for you and we can organize the details.
Active regards from the DirectLife team,
Antonio.
Well, Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galván, my first thought was that I could actually use three more activity monitors myself. I was thinking that it might quadruple my own activity level knowing that my levels were being tracked by four separate devices.
But then I started thinking about selfishness... and how my selfish family would all demand that I give them one of my precious activity monitors. What good would that do me, Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galván?
So I had a completely different idea: what if I used up to three DirectLife packages for three coming competitions I have in mind? I like it!
Let's make this happen, Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galván!
Take care,
Jáck
Dear Jack,
Thanks a lot for your answer. Let’s do it this way: feel free to organize any three competitions in the rest of the year and announce that the price will be a DirectLife with a four-month membership.
Then, once you know who the winner is you can send us her/his email address where we will send the invitation email for registration. The winner will receive DirectLife in her/his mailbox in no later than five business days.
Thanks again and enjoy the rest of the weekend,
Antonio.
If you made it this far, then here’s your reward…
ANNOUNCING THE FIRST OF THREE CONTESTS FOR A FREE DIRECTLIFE ACTIVITY MONITOR WITH A FOUR-MONTH MEMBERSHIP… ONE COMMENT ON TODAY’S POST WILL BE RANDOMLY CHOSEN BY DIRECTLIFE JUNIOR MARKET INTELLIGENCE ANALYST ANTONIO GALVÁN PUENTE AS THE PRIZE WINNER. PLEASE ADDRESS ALL COMMENTS TO HIM, BUT BE SURE AND PASSIONATELY DESCRIBE YOUR DESIRE FOR THIS DEVICE, BECAUSE IF THERE'S ONE THING THAT JUNIOR MARKET INTELLIGENCE ANALYST ANTONIO GALVÁN PUENTE RESPONDS TO, IT IS RAW, UNBRIDLED PASSION.
I'M SORRY, MY CAPLOCK BUTTON IS STUCK AND I DON'T KNOW HOW to... oh, there it goes... good luck and may God have mercy on your souls (I just really like the way that sounds...)
I'M SORRY, MY CAPLOCK BUTTON IS STUCK AND I DON'T KNOW HOW to... oh, there it goes... good luck and may God have mercy on your souls (I just really like the way that sounds...)
LOL! I love the banter. It's great. I've never heard of that device before but it sounds pretty nifty.
ReplyDeleteDear DIRECTLIFE JUNIOR MARKET INTELLIGENCE ANALYST ANTONIO GALVÁN PUENTE,
ReplyDeleteAlthough I don't know much about this product, It seems like it has and is working for Jack. I am sure that it would be beneficial to me as I continue on to my road to health. I will google it now.
Sincerely,
Ron
I have been looking into these things and they are 50 kinds of awesome!! :o)
ReplyDeleteDear DLJMIAAGP:
ReplyDeleteAs you can see, sometimes I am going thru life so fast, i take shortcuts wherever I can..that is perhaps a key to why I am in the place I am now with my activity in my lifestyle.
I certainly need something to monitor me cuz I take too many shortcuts when no one is watchin.
Dear DirectLife Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galván Puente,
ReplyDeleteLong story short, I, like many others, believe that DirectLife can help me. I work in an office; I'm overweight; it's starting to effect my health. I've made some good decisions lately. I've started to eat like a human should. I've even started moving more, which, given my previous activity level, wasn't that difficult. But, I would love the motivation to increase my activity level even more. Plus, I love gadgets, video games, and technology, and this just seems like a great combo of the three!
Warmest regards,
Jamie J.
Dear My sweet kind wonderful DirectLike Junior Market Intelligence Analyst, ANTONIO GALVÁN PUENTE,
ReplyDeleteYour very ability to market such products as this, is a rare find. You truly save people. I feel myself yearning for your over-enthusiastic marketing banter to convince me to throw my life completely in the hands of DirectLife Coach Jen, because really, how could either of you stear me wrong?
You couldn't. You wouldn't. You care, oh so much.
Antonio, your very nature to make me want to be a better person has made feelings inside of me arise, that I have never felt before. I want to eat plants over processed food. I want to get sweaty by means other than running after the ice cream truck (only to give up after 15 feet).
Antonio, my dear sweet, amazing, Junior Marketing Intelligence Analyst. You are my one true passion.
My passion for life.
Yours, always-
BeBe
Directlife Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galván Puente,
ReplyDeleteIt sure would be nice to learn how many calories chasing a naked 2 year old that's attempting to escape bath time is worth on my daily tracking. In fact, it would be great to find out how many calories burned it is to pick up all my husband's nasty socks, or how many calories of sheer willpower it is not to strangle my boss for asking for the same document FOUR times. In fact, it would just be nice to know I'm not a slug. The fact that I resemble a slug has nothing to do with it. I hope. Thanks for considering me. I promise not to let the toddler, husband or boss break it.
Sincerely,
Leaving Fatville
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMy Dearest DirectLife Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Gálvan Puente,
ReplyDeleteI would LOVE to have a Direct Life Activity Monitor and 4 month subscription. I am in desperate need to increase my activity levels beyond the current level of inactive. In fact I'm so inactive the only thing moving right now are my fingers. Oh and maybe my eyelids (a girl has to blink you know.) My job as a customer service rep pretty much has me tied to my desk for 8-9 hours a day and the evolutionary process has caused my once trim body to mutate into one that includes additional padding, particularly in the rear. I need help DirectLife Junior Market Intellegence Analysst Antonio Gálvan Puente! Please please please Pick ME!!
Dear Antonio: i'm just starting to run, well that is if you can call it running. I was a little then i shuffle a little. Yep i'm a newbie :)
ReplyDeleteI thin the monitor may help me step up my game a bit!
I need all the help i can get!!
Well,
ReplyDeleteI just really think this would help me, as I continue on my journey.
Thanks for the opportunity!
Dear DIRECTLIFE JUNIOR MARKET INTELLIGENCE ANALYST ANTONIO GALVÁN PUENTE,
ReplyDeleteForget the monitor gizmo. I want the Direct Life Tech Support guys rapelling through MY skylights and fixing the computers! Oh, and can they get the iPod dock on the stereo to work again? That would be super cool.
Antonio,
ReplyDeleteI'm fat and in need of something to motivate me to move. Help a sister out before she has a massive heart attack at 25.
Gracias,
Sierra
I may just go to fitbloggin' just so I can meet you in person. You are too good to be true. :)
ReplyDeleteDear Directlife Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galvan Puente-
ReplyDeleteI am a nurse. Let me clarify I am a fat emergency room nurse. Do you know how hard it is to help someone change their life when they are looking at you thinking "Yeah I'll quit smoking those cigs when you lose some weight tubby". Plus I don't get to pee during my 12 hour shift let alone figure out how much physical activity I am doing. I know lots of nurses secretly wonder how many calories we are burning giving shots in the butt. Just think not only would you be helping me but maybe hundreds no thousands of people. They will look at at that healthy fit nurse giving them discharge instructions and think "Maybe if she can do it so can I".
Dear Mr. Puente, I'd sure like to try out the Philips DirectLife activity monitor. I'm currently training for a 1/2 marathon, and since reading Jack's blog have lost about 36 pounds and have ran in several 5k's. It would be great to see how different activities are measured and my true calorie burn.
ReplyDeleteDear kindest, most intuitive Antonio,
ReplyDeleteI would adore having one of these DirectLife Activity Monitors. You see, I'm currently a poor-college 30-year-old working on my Masters in counseling, and buying all this healthy food on my single-income, paying-tuition budget is expensive! I'm afraid the best I could manage for activity monitors was a pedometer that I rescued, straggling alone at the checkout line in Wal-Mart. (Bless its heart.)
Additionally, I think my 3 100-lb dogs (give or take a few lbs) would be very interested in a friendly competition for chicken jerky to see which one can help me burn more calories. Spike is convinced he could win by brute force, but I think he underestimates Sammy and Della. This trio has been my source of exercise to start.
But here's the most important reason! I am in desperate need of the guidance of DirectLife Coach Jen, and I'm sure your witty banter would help too! Having someone in my house (if only on my computer) to support me in my journey would be miraculous, and (if I play my cards right) it just might get my husband off his butt too. Then, when we're finally healthy, we could bring mini-us's into the world after 6 years of trying and being told we're "just too fat" to have kids.
With hope,
Jess
No need to beg if it's chosen randomly.
ReplyDeleteDear Antonio Galván,
ReplyDeleteI am a runner obsessed with tracking my mileage, and would love to have a calorie/activity-tracking system so I can be obsessive about that too. I had a Gruve device that quit working last month, after a relatively short life. I would love to try the Philips DirectLife monitor to prove it is more awesome than Gruve, and so I can resume tracking my every move.
Thanks,
Lauren
My Dearest DIRECTLIFE JUNIOR MARKET INTELLIGENCE ANALYST ANTONIO GALVÁN PUENTE,
ReplyDeleteSome here in the blogosphere know me as Olivia Warrior Princess, but you can simply call me Livi! I am a passionate young woman looking to grab life by the horns and take a wild ride of adventure! I may be plus sized in stature, but my passion for living an athletic/healthy life is plus sized too! Right now I am training for the BP MS 150 in Texas, I’m training for a ½ Marathon, AND all this will contribute to my training for an Olympic Triathlon next year! You can imagine that all of this passionate plus sized activity is hard to track at times…and let me assure you IT IS! I love to move around, and I would REALLY love to try out the DirectLife Activity Monitor to track all this movement…if it can keep up with me! ;)
Thanks for your consideration!
OLIVIA WARRIOR PRINCESS!!!!!
(but remember, YOU can call me livi ;) xoxo)
Well Mr. DIRECTLIFE JUNIOR MARKET INTELLIGENCE ANALYST ANTONIO GALVÁN PUENTE, I am from Canada and when I was looking into purchasing this type of device, I could not get one because of the country I live in. So I ordered a "Fitbit". However, I ordered it in early June and it is still backorderd. I am not happy with that. If you could provide a means for us Canadians to purchase and use your product, I would cancel my Fitbit order and get one of yours!
ReplyDeleteBecause I have a sit down job, it is important for me to realize how little or how much I actually burn. I want one of these devices to help me get my butt moving more!
Thanks for considering me :)
JUNIOR MARKET INTELLIGENCE ANALYST ANTONIO GALVÁN PUENTE:
ReplyDeleteHello from the plains of Colorado, where the deer and antelope play. As they eat our fruit trees and garden veggies, and scare our chickens.
I'm entering this contest because I really need one of those thingabobs and the membership thingy. I have no clue how many calories I'm really burning as I chase those darn deer, or try to catch my chickens when they really really REALLY don't want to go back into the coop. And don't get me started about our goats! You'd think those critters would stay still to be milked, but nooooo... they like to kick and stomp and make me slap their hindquarters, which again, I have no idea how much exercise this really gives me.
So, Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galvan Puente, PICK ME!
Vee at http://veegettinghealthy.blogspot.com
p.s. Will it also track when I have to get up in the middle of the night to scare off the coyotes and foxes from my chicken coops? Carrying a shotgun in one hand and a cell phone in the other? Just asking.
Thank you, Oh Mighty Antonio Poobah and Great Exalted Jack Sh*t.
Dear Directlife Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galvan Puente,
ReplyDeleteI'm currently studying to be a teacher in Dallas, Texas, the 13th fattest state in the United States. I know that I will be a role model for my future students so I want to make sure that I provide them with an excellent example of health and fitness. At this moment, I am nowhere near being fit or healthy, but I constantly think of my future students and how I want to be able to be there for them. As a bilingual teacher who wants to work in low-income schools it's even more important to me to be a great role model for my kids. Minority and low income students are quickly becoming our fattest members of society, dooming themselves to be unsuccessful! It is already bad enough that our country doesn't value these children, but to see them suffer through childhood obesity and miss out on so much in life because they aren't able to keep up physically just breaks my heart! I am a true believer that you can overcome your circumstances if you have enough desire, but these children need someone to show them that it can be done, and that fitness is fun!
Thank you for listening to me rant! :)
Dear DIRECTLIFE JUNIOR MARKET INTELLIGENCE ANALYST ANTONIO GALVÁN PUENTE,
ReplyDeleteI sit in a cube all day long
One day, I'd like to fit into a man thong
However, I'm overweight but trying to get fit
Eating right and exercising a bit
I'd really like the use of a DirectLife Device
To see how many calories would be nice
I hope I am the one that you pick
Just so I can be kinda like Jack S*it
Dear Antonio,
ReplyDeleteI am having the same issue as Jack. I just got a new laptop and I am not able to upload my info on it. Is there an easier way?
Thanks,
Tony
Dear Antonio,
ReplyDeleteShort and sweet: I still have 185 pounds to lose. This device could be a huge help to me.
And think what a marketing coup to claim that your Direct Life monitor helped a middle aged obese woman reach her goals and regain her health and life. ;)
Dear DIRECTLIFE JUNIOR MARKET INTELLIGENCE ANALYST ANTONIO GALVÁN PUENTE,
ReplyDeleteI am 28 yrs old and overweight. I think this would really help me stay motivated! Would love to be able to play and keep up with my kids one day!
Dear DirectLife Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galván Puente,
ReplyDeleteI have been improving my life using a pedometer, making sure I walk a bit farther everyday. My doctor has told me I must lose weight or pay with the serious consequences of adult onset diabetes. Obtaining the activity monitor and using it may help reverse the progress of my disease and allow me to live longer and better. Won't you help me do that DirectLife Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galván Puente?
Estimado Sr. Galván
ReplyDeleteI'm thrilled at the prospects of using your Phillips DirectLife package. I'm almost half way to my fitness and weight goal. After a bunch of initial progress I've hit a plateau. More insight on my current fitness routines, and support of your team, seems just what I need to make the push to meet my goals.
One very key part of my success to date it the inspiration I get keeping up with both Tony and Jack. Both seem to have the highest ethical standards for their audiences. When I read of their DirectLife use, I know that is the best recommendation I can get.
If I am chosen, I can promise you that I will follow through, without fail, on the work with your DirectLife coach and all of the element of the DirectLife package. Once again, thanks to Tony and Jack, I've found a disciple and consistency I've never know. I would love to fully, completely, and thoroughly, jump onto the Phillips DirectLife program and run toward my weight and fitness goal.
Sincerely,
Chris
P.S. Please be careful of bantering with Jack...it just encourages him. :)
Dear Antonio Galván,
ReplyDeleteYour product sounds like just what I need for my journey to a new fitter me. Im 29 , 5'1" and 219 pounds. I just started talking about my weight on my blog so my 180 followers can read about it and maybe be inspired. It also is to scare me into wanting to lose weight knowing 180 people see my weight each week. I know I read Jacks blog daily for inspiration , so maybe I can inspire people too ( although Im not funny like him!). Thank you for the oppurtunity to get one of these amazing tools for the journey!
Lena
fromlena2u @yahoo.com)
Dear Antonio,
ReplyDeleteAlthough I question the efficacy of begging or passion (as the winner will be chosen randomly)I just wanted to passionately state that if I win this monitor, it might convince Those Who Sign My Paychecks that perhaps one of those treadmill-desks would look awesome in the Reception area.
Please.
Amanda
the[dot]amanda[dot]justice[AT]gmail[dot]com
Dear DirectLife Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galván Puente,
ReplyDeleteOn February 3, 2010, I had surgery to correct a rotator cuff problem. I was 90 pounds overweight. Sliding from gurney to gurney while trying to keep my skimpy hospital gown in place with only one good arm was bad enough, but having to admit to the surgery staff that I was taking medications for both high blood pressure and cholesterol was actually even worse.
So February 27, 2010 I joined Weight Watchers to try to create a healthier lifestyle for myself. Eating correctly helped me lose some weight, but eventually I realized I needed to start exercising too, so I started walking. To date I’ve lost 50 pounds.
Walking has been great for me, and I know it’s helped my weight loss, but now I feel like I need to ramp up the exercise except I don’t have any idea how to go about it.
And that’s where you come in, Antonio. I would like to give DirectLife a try. I think the monitor sounds like a great tool and I know I will feel much more comfortable adding in exercise if I have the guidance of the DirectLife Coaches.
I will even blog about my adventures if you’d like!
Dear DirectLife Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galván Puente,
ReplyDeleteFor my entire life I have struggled with my weight. I'm 25 years and have been fat for as long as I can remember. Finally, this year, I was determined to do something about it. Starting the year at 260 pounds, I knew I had a long journey ahead of me. Today, 10 months later, I am 60 pounds lighter and a million times happier. But, still, it is a constant struggle.
My brothers have been a huge inspiration to me. Both have struggled with weight issues all their lives as well. Last year they made the commitment to change, and this September they finished their first marathon. Feeling that inspiration, we all signed up for the Twin Cities marathon next September. I'm scared as hell. Mostly of letting my brothers down, and not being able to complete it. I have 20 more pounds to lose and 26.2 miles to run. Please, help me achieve these goals.
Hmmm, Having won a contest on JSGF before, I feel selfish entering another one. But if I never received my prize from the first contest, does that make it ok?
ReplyDeleteYou be the judge DirectLife Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antiono Galvan Puente. Do you want me to continue waiting for the Gruve that may never arrive, or would you like to award me a Direct Life Activity Monitor, thereby edging out your competition's chance at winning my heart?
Antonio - as someone who has lost 100 pounds this year tracking my calories taken in and trying to figure out my calories burned, I would love to be able to see the kinds of data that your device provides! I am getting to the point where more weight loss will require alto more work at it would be great to see a tighter correlation.
ReplyDeleteDearest Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galván, I love you ever so much with a fiery passion and would love you even more if I had a DirectLife system to show me just how many calories I was burning by loving you so passionately. XOXO
ReplyDeleteOh Antonio-
ReplyDeleteI need a DirectLife monitor because I need to DIRECT MY LIFE!! Right now I'm at a standstill and although Jack is very encouraging and inspiring every day I need a bulge in my pocket to get me to move. It's uncomfortable to sit with bulges in your pocket!
Now please send me a DirectLife monitor.
I said Please!
emandco@live.com
Dear DIRECTLIFE JUNIOR MARKET INTELLIGENCE ANALYST ANTONIO GALVÁN PUENTE,
ReplyDeleteDare I confess how my heart exploded to learn you ideed have a family. The mental picture of you in my head closely resembles a dark and dreamy Brad Pitt but without the wandering crotch. Speaking of wandering, I am currently trying not to pass out while doing the couch to 5k program. I believe your beautiful and usefull device could guide me to miles I've never run before.
Dreaming you pick me and the wonderful 4 months we may share,
Laura xxoo
Dear DIRECT LIFE JUNIOR MARKET INTELLIGENCE ANALYST ANTONIO GALVÁN PUENTE,
ReplyDeleteYou had me at free iPad. And, I'm also certain that men repelling through nonexistent skylights would increase my activity levels appreciably.
XoOoXo
Lee
Dear DirectLife Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galvan Puente:
ReplyDeleteFirst, pardon the absence of the proper punctuation in Galvan - can't figure out how to do that in comments...
Second, I would be very interested in receiving the DirectLife device and membership - perhaps it would be the push I need to get back in the game. I've been on the sidelines for too long. In fact, I have a bad case of "bleacher spread" if you get my drift...
However, I cannot in all good conscience put my name in the hat, as I fear that this is all a trap you are setting for unsuspecting blog readers. As evidence, I call out the following paragraph from your correspondence with Jack:
"Thanks a lot for your answer. Let’s do it competitions in the rest of the year and announce that the price will be a DirectLife with a four-month membership."
In this paragraph, you note that DirectLife with a four-month membership is the PRICE and not the PRIZE - a clever and easy to overlook "error" on your part - and a devious way to get us to pay for the DirectLife with a four-month membership as the PRICE to get in the contest.
Well not me, Bucko...I didn't just fall off the turnip truck yesterday! Shame on you for trying to pull a fast one on us!
;-)
denise
Dear Antonio,
ReplyDeleteI LOVE ACTIVITY! I'm so passionate about activity that I try to sleep as little as possible just so I can be doing stuff every. moment. of. the. day! So I just want to get a Direct Life Monitor so I can blow you all away with my insane levels of activity. Or...maybe I'll see that I could do more. Maybe you'll argue that typing on the computer or laughing at episodes of Desperate Housewives doesn't count for activity so much... In which case, I will do more! :D I'd love to win, thanks.
Actively yours,
Rebecca
Dear Directlife Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galvan Puente,
ReplyDeleteLet’s cut to the chase here. I think there is nothing junior about you. In my eyes, you’re way up there with… hmm, well, who are you up there with? Never mind. You get the drift. Anyways, I have a proposition for you… No, not that kind.
I’ve been thinking about buying (dare I say it? Yes I do!) a bodybugg!, for myself and my husband, both of us who could use it. Think of this as an investment opportunity. You pick me, and if I like it, we’ll buy one for my husband too. How’s that sound?!? We’re both overweight (me by 120 pounds! Him by 115 pounds), and I sit at a desk all day. I (we) could sure use the help. :) I’ll even review it on my blog! How’s that for ya?
Most sincerely,
Laura
Is it wrong that I briefly but seriously considered putting one of these on my puppy? But he's lazier than I am, so I'd probably be better off just wearing it myself, LOL.
ReplyDeleteDearest DirectLife Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Gálvan Puente,
ReplyDeleteI'd love one of theses gadgets but here's a challenge for you.
Will it work all the way to New Zealand for a 71 year old who alternates between couch potato and gut busting walks.
To Jack Sh#t.
This is coming from my bath tub. My husband is freaking but so far I've kept everything dry.
Roll your eyes if you can but don't on any account imagine the scene.
Dear DirectLife Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galván Puente,
ReplyDeleteI want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want!
Dear DIRECTLIFE JUNIOR MARKET INTELLIGENCE ANALYST ANTONIO GALVÁN PUENTE,
ReplyDeleteGive me! Give me! Give me! (Please)
Also, you have an awesome name.
Thanks!
Niki
Antonio,
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me, but I think that you and I could be friends. Really good friends. Maybe even BEST friends. You see, I have been looking into some kind of activity monitor doodad, and really like your product, only I am a stay-at-home mom to four kids, currently living with my mother-in-law, and can't afford any doodads, especially not one as cool as yours. I have been working really hard on becoming more physically active, and would love a way to really track it. I still have at least 25 pounds to lose, and I know this would help. So come on, Antonio, take a chance on me. And I will be your best friend ;)
Morgan
That sounds awesome! I'm trying to kickstart my weight loss, so this would be very handy. Love your convo back and forth with the company. :) You're so fun.
ReplyDeleteYay contests...but more importantly...how big must that guy's business card be? I mean that is one helluva title... :)
ReplyDeleteTo Whom it May Concern (in the Phillips sales department or otherwise):: I'd like to know if the Phillips Direct Life Activity Monitor is better in some way than the BodyBugg that I already own and use religiously. If so, how and why and would it be helpful for me to have a free one to track the differences for myself? Best wishes, Naomi
ReplyDeleteHi Mr. Really Long Name and Longer Title,
ReplyDeleteI have heavy since childhood. I crash dieted (evil evil evil) and lost 100 pounds, but was still miserable. And HUNGRY. Gained 30 back. Now I"m chubby again. My whole goal is to find that medium, the center place, where I am happy and my weight is happy. This device would help me know where I stand (or sit, hahaha) as far as activity level. Please please pick me?
Thanks,
Michelle
Dear Rico Suave---oh, I mean DIRECTLIFE JUNIOR MARKET INTELLIGENCE ANALYST ANTONIO GALVÁN PUENTE,
ReplyDeletePick me! Pick me! Because I want to be just like Mr. Jack Sh*t when I grow up except girlier!
Sincerely and passionately,
J
Dear DirectLife Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galván Puente,
ReplyDeleteAfter hitting 345 pounds in July 2010, I realized I wasn't fully living my life. I wasn't feeling well, and worse, I wasn't happy. I have been overweight or obese for longer than I can remember, and now, after years of failed attempts at dieting, I'm finally figuring out that it's not about quick fixes. I've got a plan, DLJMIAAGP. And it's eating well, eating less, and staying active.
Now, I am just over 50 pounds lighter. I can feel my body changing, and it's miraculous to me. The best changes, though, are the emotional ones. I'm more confident, and I'm feeling good about myself. At 23, I am finally gaining the life I have resisted fully living for so long, preferring instead to hide behind the protective wall of my obesity.
So, DLJMIAAGP, I still have a long way to go, and that's where you come in. Help me out, man! I'm doing okay, but I think your product would help me better understand the day-to-day of my goals. Sometimes I get dizzy thinking that my 53 pound loss is only a little over 25% of my long-term goal - I think you can help me live more presently.
Help me meet my goals, DLJMIAAGP, the numeric ones *and* the non-scale victories. There's a lot I've missed out on, and I don't want to waste another day. There are new experiences out there - like going on a roller coaster, or riding a gondola in Venice, or finally getting a second date with a guy! I'm ready - and you can help me get there.
Mary
Jack & Antonio, In the past two years, I've lost 50 lbs and on this December 15 I'll celebrate my one year anniversary at goal weight. (yay me) Goal weight rocks! AND, what I've learned this past year is maintaining my weight means paying attention. To what I eat. To moving my body. Attention to details counts. I'm really good about keeping a food diary consistently, so I don't develop 'food amensia'. It helps me pay attention and be mindful of my food. I am not so good at consistently moving my body. I'm an 'all or nothing' kind of exerciser. All the research shows long-term maintenance success is directly tied to consistent exercise. I intend to be a 'results not typical' and keep this weight off. A Direct Life package would help me be mindful of my activity. Active attention and instant feedback. Sign me up! Carol
ReplyDeleteI began this journey in 2008 and I lost 30lbs in 2009, then slacked off and gained 15 back and this entire year I've struggled to lose 10 of those pounds again (approximately - like I said, I'm struggling).
ReplyDeleteHowever, I recently (as in yesterday) had the opportunity to begin training for a 5k. A really cool 5k. It's called The First Run (downtown, Portland, Oregon) and it starts at midnight on New Year's Eve. How cool would it be to start the year off right - with meeting some of your New Year's Resolutions during the first hour of the new year!
So, I've decided to start the Couch to 5k training program. I attempted it before, but didn't complete it (I fell off the treadmill and got scraped up pretty bad and then decided I liked the elliptical better) but look forward to the satisfaction of completing it.
Anyways, the motivation I have right now for this new challenge is awesome and the best I've felt all year and if I had a Philips DirectLife Activity Monitor I think I could do even better on becoming a healthier me!
Thanks!
Dear DirectLife Senior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galván Puente,
ReplyDeleteI recently moved from Germany to California. I spent a lot of time in Germany trying to lose weight and I have a pretty good idea how many calories I burned doing my walking and whatnot over there.
Here? There are rattlesnakes. And bears. And mountain lions! (Oh my!) I am really curious how much higher my energy levels will be while I am dodging and fighting these beasts of nature. Do not let the fact that I have yet to see any one of these creatures dissuade you...it's just a matter of time. How awesome would it be to catch that reading? Let's see, during this pre-enactment!
DirectLife Coach Jen: I see here a burst of energy on Monday at 4:30 pm. What exactly were you doing then?
Me: Hm, I think that is when I knocked that mountain lion on its a**. Yep, that's it.
Jen: Awesome! We've never recorded that before. Management will be super pleased. Who gave you this device?!
Me: Why, it was Antonio, of course.
And THAT is where your promotion comes in. (Didja even notice?)
Passionately Yours (just don't tell my husband),
Amanda @ http://assinseat.blogspot.com
Since there's no magic pill, this sounds like the best alternative.
ReplyDeleteTHANKS!
Laura
My very dear Antonio,
ReplyDeleteOn the long road from chubby I have taken a lot of detours, but I am profoundly hopeful that this could keep me on the right path to healthy. Please and thank you!
Dear DLJMIAAGP:
ReplyDeleteI hope I win. It would be very exciting. I love giving blowjobs when I get excited. Of course, I'm married and my husband would be the benefactor, but maybe if you tell Rosa she will get really jealous and give you one to spite me. Go team.
- Kirsten
Dear DIRECTLIFE JUNIOR MARKET INTELLIGENCE ANALYST ANTONIO GALVÁN PUENTE....
ReplyDeleteI have my doubts that something like this would work for me... but maybe you could prove otherwise!
To Junior Market Intelligence Analyst, Antonio Galván,
ReplyDeleteI passionatly desire your unit. It sounds amazing and I can't wait to wrap my hands around should I be so lucky.
Antonio, Antonio...I have been working so hard to lose weight and nothing I try is working. I have been at the same weight for a while now and I need to do something to shake it up. I work my butt off at the gym and now I've been asked to be an instructor. I accepted the job, but I would have more confidence if I could drop some pounds! Here's where you come in. Select me for this wonderful prize package and I can figure out just what I'm doing wrong - am I taking in too many calories? not burning enough? Do tell! - and these pounds will start flying off my ass! And we'll both win. You will sleep well each night knowing you awarded this prize to someone deserving and that will use it to fight evil forces in the universe. And I will sleep well knowing that the pounds will soon be left in the dust, thanks to Antonio and Philips DirectLife activity monitor. Do the right thing, Antonio. I know you want to.
ReplyDeleteDear DirectLife Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galván Puente;
ReplyDeleteI have been readin with rapt attention the interactions between you, directlife coach Jennifer and Jack Sh*t.
I have recently discovered a gluten intolerance and have rediscovered my zest for life and the desire for new activity!
I think your product would be hugely beneficial in this cause...
Here is hoping you select me!
TinaK
Oh gosh, I'm too tired to be funny, and some of the entries above are SO good...but it would really help me if I won this. Thanks for the chance. :)
ReplyDeleteAre aussies allowed to enter..... be great to get this product known around the world, imagine how many people it could help.
ReplyDeleteSonja
Aussie Aussie Aussie....
ReplyDeleteOi Oi Oi.....
(Sonja)