Bad. Badder. Worstest.

BAD: You accidentally pick up a carton of whole milk.
BADDER: You accidentally drink a milkshake.
WORSTEST: You fill the kiddie pool up with heavy whipping cream and go to town.

BAD: You skip a workout.
BADDER: You skip a week of workouts.
WORSTEST: You forgot where your gym is located.

BAD: You ate a little too much shrimp alfredo.
BADDER: Security guards now stop you from entering any Red Lobster.
WORSTEST: Your name is mentioned in article about worldwide shrimp shortage.

BAD: Your favorite top is suddenly too snug.
BADDER: You split your pants.
WORSTEST: A button popped off your shirt and killed a bystander.

BAD: You ate a bowl of ice cream.
BADDER: You just ate an entire carton of ice cream.
WORSTEST: Ben & Jerry’s just named you “Customer of the Year”

BAD: You couldn’t make it through the marathon you trained for.
BADDER: You couldn’t make it through the half-marathon you trained for.
WORSTEST: You just made it through a “Beverly Hillbillies” marathon.

BAD: You were turned down for a date because you're too big.
BADDER: You were turned down for a job because you're too big.
WORSTEST: You were turned down for “Biggest Loser” because you're too big.

BAD: You were really uncomfortable going horseback riding.
BADDER: They couldn’t find a saddle that fit you.
WORSTEST: You broke a horse.

BAD: You tracked your food and went over your allotted calories.
BADDER: You tracked your food and went waaay over your allotted calories.
WORSTEST: You tracked your food and ran out of numbers.

BAD: You tried some pie they were giving samples of at the grocery store.
BADDER: You ate an entire pound cake while checking out.
WORSTEST: You purchased the entire snack and cookie aisle.

BAD: You get popcorn when you go to the movies.
BADDER: You get melted butter on your popcorn when you go to the movies.
WORSTEST: You get melted butter on your Milk Duds when you go to the movies.

BAD: You don’t have any jeans that fit.
BADDER: You don’t have any sweatpants that fit.
WORSTEST: You don’t have any muumuus that fit.

BAD: You put 1,000 Island dressing on your salad.
BADDER: You put croutons, cheese and 1,000 Island dressing on your salad.
WORSTEST: You put 1,000 Island dressing on your hot fudge sundae.

BAD: You pig out immediately after a weigh-in.
BADDER: You pig out during a weigh-in.
WORSTEST: You pig out instead of a weigh-in.

BAD: You eat cheese and crackers on the sofa.
BADDER: You eat chips and dip in bed.
WORSTEST: You eat cold pizza in the shower.

BAD: You read Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit.
BADDER: You read Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit every day.
WORSTEST: You’re Jack Sh*t.