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Sunday, August 29, 2010

Invasion!

Weekly weigh-in: 210.4
Loss: -1.9
Total loss: -81.6
Emotion: Combative

People of Earth,

This communication is to announce the beginning on an invasion on 15 or so pounds of unruly fat.

Fat, you shall be banished! Fat, your world is coming to an end!

You have been allowed to hold sway for far too long. Today is the beginning of the end of your reign.

We plan to employ strict dietary guidelines and raise workout levels to “shock and awe” intensity.

Our aim is to isolate you, obliterate you, annihilate you.

You are big, but what you don’t understand is that the world is so much bigger than you.

Your time is past.

Prepare for the invasion.

Resistance is futile.

Emperor Jack
of the Sh*ton Empire
at

22 comments:

  1. Anne HAugust 29, 2010 at 6:36 AM

    Will it keep my clothes from being more "Klingon?"

    ReplyDelete
  2. JessAugust 29, 2010 at 7:03 AM

    Permission to come aboard, sir??? Go Emperor Jack GO!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. WWSuziAugust 29, 2010 at 7:07 AM

    You go Jack Sh*t!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jules - Big Girl BombshellAugust 29, 2010 at 7:08 AM

    Oh Love it...the Sh*ton Empire....Jack sh*t as ruler of the world...

    ReplyDelete
  5. AylilthAugust 29, 2010 at 7:35 AM

    Oooo a trekkie!!!

    Make it so Jack the invasion is under way!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. MissaAugust 29, 2010 at 7:39 AM

    Beam me up Scotty! erm, I mean Sh*tty!

    Cheers,
    Missa
    LosingEthel

    ReplyDelete
  7. Shane G.August 29, 2010 at 8:11 AM

    Good stuff Jack! I have a much bigger war ahead of me! I better get my shields upgraded. Good news is my warp engines appear to be working just fine!

    ReplyDelete
  8. PatrickAugust 29, 2010 at 8:37 AM

    War, what is it good for? Getting healthy apparently.

    ReplyDelete
  9. UnknownAugust 29, 2010 at 9:08 AM

    YES! Great job this week Jack! HIGH 5! :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. AlesiaAugust 29, 2010 at 9:47 AM

    Make it so Number One!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ice QueenAugust 29, 2010 at 10:31 AM

    Engage.

    But... Resistance is futile is Borg...

    *runs away*

    ReplyDelete
  12. Jody - Fit at 52August 29, 2010 at 11:09 AM

    You tell them Jack! I will join your brigade!

    ReplyDelete
  13. ChristineAugust 29, 2010 at 11:15 AM

    I had a bad moment where I thought that picture was battlefield earth...lololol.
    Good to know it's the klingons and this whole next battle won't be badly written and poorly acted.

    ReplyDelete
  14. LynAugust 29, 2010 at 12:07 PM

    I'm with you, Jack, only I am going to blast off THIRTY pounds or more of stubborn fat! Let's join forces and get 'er done!

    ReplyDelete
  15. screwdestinyAugust 29, 2010 at 12:58 PM

    Heck yes, you go Jack!

    ReplyDelete
  16. PJ GeekAugust 29, 2010 at 7:20 PM

    yuq glakk urrggkah tau jqqkeka


    klingon for .."you tell em ' Jack"

    ReplyDelete
  17. AnonymousAugust 29, 2010 at 7:46 PM

    Permission to join the crew, Sir! I'll bring my own teleporter

    ReplyDelete
  18. KellyAugust 29, 2010 at 7:57 PM

    I'm surprised you didn't write this in Klingon with English subtitles. But I still loved it!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Pedal Off The PoundsAugust 29, 2010 at 8:44 PM

    Nice job man, pretty entertaining as well haha

    ReplyDelete
  20. MizAugust 30, 2010 at 4:42 AM

    LAUGHING as this whole post made no sense to me...until I read the comments.

    never
    seen
    an
    episode :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Dr. Fat To FitAugust 30, 2010 at 10:11 AM

    OK. Resistance is futile= Borg, not Klingon. But, I'm sure you know that, right? Poetic license and all that jazz.

    ReplyDelete
  22. LyorkAugust 30, 2010 at 11:42 AM

    Yes! Time to raise the work out bar to "shock an awe!" Kick those 15lbs ass!

    ReplyDelete