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Wednesday, August 4, 2010

I'm Really, Really Sorry, Beatles



Ah, look at all the lard-ass people.
Ah, look at all the lard-ass people.

Ellie the Blogger forgoes the rice at the place where the Chinese is served.
Her loss is deserved.
Writes ‘bout her weigh-in, wearing the jeans that she wore more than ten years ago.
Who is it fo?

All the lard-ass people.
Why do they eat all wrong?
All the lard-ass people.
They look bad in a thong.

Fatter Jack Sh*tty, writing the words of a blog post that no one will read.
No one believes.
Look at him working, tweeting his tweets through the day when there’s work to be done.
He’s lost a ton.

All the lard-ass people.
Wearing lard-ass people pants.
All the lard-ass people.
Why won't they take a chance?


Ah, look at all the lard-ass people.
Ah, look at all the lard-ass people.

Ellie the Blogger achieved her goal after doing all she required.
All were inspired.
Fatter Jack Sh*tty, rhyming some words from a mind that is somewhat demented.
No one commented.

All the lard-ass people,
Why do they eat so crappily?
All the lard-ass people.
Do they want to live unhappily?
at

20 comments:

  1. JenificationAugust 4, 2010 at 7:32 AM

    This is by far your best compilation. It made me smile and will get me through my day--especially the line: "wearing lard ass people pants."

    ReplyDelete
  2. LisaAugust 4, 2010 at 7:33 AM

    Wearing lard-ass people pants ... ba ha ha ha ha! You crack me up.

    ReplyDelete
  3. TrishaAugust 4, 2010 at 7:46 AM

    ~rhyming some words from a mind that is somewhat demented~

    Somewhat Jack? I'm thinking a tad more than somewhat.

    I do love the lard ass pants! This will stay in my head all day now!

    ReplyDelete
  4. ScrumpyAugust 4, 2010 at 7:59 AM

    You give me blog envy.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Molly LouiseAugust 4, 2010 at 8:14 AM

    This is the undiscovered Beatles hit, resurrected by Jack.

    Thank you for this in my morning reader.

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  6. JoannaAugust 4, 2010 at 8:36 AM

    I had no idea that you were such a poetic genius!! This is great...another great smile to last with me all day. :)

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  7. JenAugust 4, 2010 at 8:37 AM

    Love it Jack!

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  8. KyleAugust 4, 2010 at 8:42 AM

    No one commented? That'll be the day!

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousAugust 4, 2010 at 8:53 AM

    Lard-ass pants. Lard-ass pants.
    Lard-ass pants.

    Oh boy...this is going to be stuck in my head all day now!!

    Jack, you're the best. Keep working, Dude, or you'll be wearing Lard-ass pants again!

    ReplyDelete
  10. HeliAugust 4, 2010 at 9:18 AM

    Nicely done!

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  11. AnonymousAugust 4, 2010 at 9:25 AM

    LOL!! "wearing lard-ass people pants" Hilarious!

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  12. Fat DaddyAugust 4, 2010 at 9:56 AM

    You, Brother Sh*t! What a fun shot in the arm your tribute to John, Paul, and lard asses is!

    It's tough to face sometimes but we all get what we earn in this biz don't we?

    I farted around a bit too, and I'm trying to get back at it.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm Just Another Fat Girl -jafgAugust 4, 2010 at 10:18 AM

    Oh MAW GAW!!!

    This is too funny! I'm still laughing!

    I think you may have ruined this song for me in that Weird Al Yankovic way.

    -jafg

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  14. Charlotte's CafeAugust 4, 2010 at 10:19 AM

    That was AWESOME! I love paradoy songs. You did great :D

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  15. AnonymousAugust 4, 2010 at 12:44 PM

    I like...why do they eat so crappily...figure that one out...$$$

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  16. arielcircleofnineAugust 4, 2010 at 12:53 PM

    I LOL'd several times right here in my office...loved this one!

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  17. AnonymousAugust 4, 2010 at 1:11 PM

    This is a true classic. I wish Paul would read it.

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  18. kaitlinAugust 4, 2010 at 2:26 PM

    Hahahahaha this is awesome. I am sure in a few months this will be featured on "Same Old Shit" Saturday... yes, it is that good! =)

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  19. WrenAugust 4, 2010 at 10:54 PM

    You've made me de-lurk with this one, Jack. Wayyy over the top and perfect! I will never be able to hear this song again without singing along, "all the lard-ass people..."

    I'm not sure if I should thank you, or hate you, as one of those lard-ass people who are slowly, slowly but surely reducing her caboose. Hmmm. THANK YOU works best. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  20. ChristineAugust 5, 2010 at 12:03 AM

    all the lard ass people. Jack I puffy heart your blog.
    You know that, right.

    ReplyDelete