Meanwhile, on Sh*tagain's Island...

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful year.
That started from this interweb
Aboard this blogosphere.

The mate was a write-y blogging man,
The skipper too fat, you know.
Five others boarded the ship that day
For a new reality show.
A new reality show.

The premise was a bunch of fatties,
Left on an island by a crusier.
It’s a little bit like a cross between
Survivor and The Biggest Loser.
Survivor and The Biggest Loser.

The ship set ground on the shore of an
Uncharted desert isle.
With Sh*tagain.
Sam the Skipper, too.
The married couple, from Team Giles.
The blogging star,
No More Bacon and Merry-Ann,
Here on Sh*tagain’s Isle.

No beer, no cake, no candy bars,
Not a thing that tastes too great.
Like Oprah every couple of years,
They’re sure to lose some weight.

So join us here right now, my friends.It’s sure to be a trial,
For seven starving castaways,
Here on "Sh*tagain's Isle."

Slimmin' Sam

Jen, a Prior Fat Girl

Team Giles

No More Bacon's Ryan

Mary from A Merry Life

Merry Ann: Sh*tagain! Did you steal my coconut crème pie again?

Sh*tagain: Nawwww - ummmnummmnummm.

Merry Ann: I made that for Sam’s birthday!

Sh*tagain: I think the skipper’s coconut-intolerant.

Merry Ann: How in God’s name have you not been voted off the island yet?

Sh*tagain: I’ve got an alliance with Ryan.

Merry Ann: He got voted off last week.

Sh*tagain: Are you kiddin’ me?

Merry Ann: You voted for him to go, dumbass!

Jenn-Ger: What’s up, kids?

Sh*tagain: Just chillin’ like a villain.

Jenn-Ger: What does that mean?

Sh*tagain: I never know what anything means…

Sam: Sh*tagain! I thought you were going to collect firewood.

Sh*tagain: I was saving my energy for my afternoon workout.

Jenn-Ger: Where are Rodney and Lauren?

Sam: Team Giles? They’re on the beach… um… getting a little… um… frisky.

Sh*tagain: Those two need to get a hut.

Merry Ann: I don’t see how it’s fair that they got to come to the island as a couple.

Jenn-Ger: You’re just mad cuz they didn’t invite Kepa.

Sam: That wouldn’t have been fair because he’s used to living on an island.

Sh*tagain: New Zealand’s a city in Australia, dumbass.

Merry Ann: Look, just drop the subject. We've got another challenge coming up this afternoon.

Sh*tagain: Anybody want to be my "challenge buddy"?

Jenn-Ger: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Sam: I doubt it, Sh*tagain... especially after what happened to Ryan.

Sh*tagain: How was I supposed to know that he was gonna use that scuba tank?

Jenn-Ger: Why'd you let all the air of it anyway?

Sh*tagain: I told you! I thought it was a hellium tank and I wanted to talk like a munchkin! What is so hard to understand about that?

Sam: Thank God he got to the surface in time!

Merry Ann: And luckily there was some room in Ryan's brain for a couple of air bubbles...

Sh*tagain: Look, we can play the "blame game" all we want...

Jenn-Ger: Well, that's the only game we have left since you lost the deck of cards...

Sh*tagain: However, I came here to focus on my exercise and my diet.

Merry Ann: Is that why you ate Sam’s birthday pie?

Sam: What?

Sh*tagain: Ix-Nay on the Ie-Pay!

Sam: I'M GONNA RIP YOUR ARMS OUTTA THEIR SOCKETS AND BEAT YOUR BRAINS OUT WITH THEM!

Sh*tagain: Ummmm... I think I'm gonna go for a jog around the lagoon...

Sam: SH*TAGAIN!