I’m Sorry, Everybody

I was tired of my belly
It’d been too large for too long.
Caused by a sedentary lifestyle
And from eating all wrong.
So while my fam was vacationing,
I had my laptop in bed.
And among the sites I was surfing,
There was this blog that I read…

"If you like doing pilates,
‘Til you burn holes in your thighs.
If you're sick of being obese,
Wanna be half your size.
If you've been eating fudge at midnight,
By the light of the fridge.
If you ever want to change things,
It’s time to try just a smidge.”

I wasn’t sure I could do it.
I know that sounds kind of strange.
But me and my fat belly
Were ready for a big change,
So I started my own blog,
To chronicle my own dieting.
So I opened a new post,
And I got busy writing.

"Yes I like doing pilates
‘Til I burn holes in my thighs.
Yes, I’m sick of being obese,
Wanna be half my size.
So I’ve quit eating fudge at midnight
By the light of the fridge.
I really do want change things,
And this blog’ll be my bridge.”

So I worked out with passion.
Started eating real well.
Soon I noticed a downturn,
When I stood on the scale.
Now it’s a year or so later,
And I won’t ever quit.
I give all kinds of advice now
On Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit.

Like, “You should start doing pilates,
‘Til you burn holes in your thighs.
If you're sick of being obese,
Wanna be half your size.
If you've been eating fudge at midnight
By the light of the fridge.
If you ever want to change things,
It’s time to try just a smidge.”