You Might Be a Fat-Neck…

I’m so, so sorry…

This post has no redeeming qualities. All I can do is tell you that I’m suffering from the worst case of the Spring sillies I’ve ever had. I try to maintain some semblance of balance on this blog, but lately I’m just a 24/7 goofball. I don’t know if it’s the warmer weather, that I’ve dropped a ton of weight or some combination of the two, but I seem to be wearing a perpetual grin.

I’ll get my act together soon and serious this space up a little, but for now the best thing is probably for me to just try to work it out of my system with the silliest stuff I can write…

• If you can pinch an inch on your forehead, you might be a fat-neck.
  
  
• If you smoke turkeys after sex, you might be a fat-neck.
  
  
• If you are completely fluent in drive-thru speaker-speak, you might be a fat-neck.
  
  
• If your favorite food is seconds, you might be a fat-neck.
  
  
• If the back of your neck looks like a pack of hot dogs, you might be a fat-neck.
  
  
• If you get diagnosed with that flesh-eating disease and the doctor gives you twelve years to live, you might be a fat-neck.
  
  
• If you’ve got six different pizza places on speed-dial, you might be a fat-neck.
  
  
• If you put butter in your coffee, you might be a fat-neck.
  
  
• If you belong to “Hot Pockets Anonymous”, you might be a fat-neck.
  
  
• If your favorite scent is tartar sauce, you might be a fat-neck.
  
  
• If you get on “The Little Engine That Could” and it says “Oh Hell No!”, you might be a fat-neck.
  
  
• If you’ve ever driven a car with a Filet-O-Fish in each hand, you might be a fat-neck.
  
  
• If your kids use one of your dresses as a backyard tent, you might be a fat-neck.
  
  
• If your necktie is only three inches long after you tie it, you might be a fat-neck.
  
  
• If you put mayonaise on your Lipitor, you might be a fat-neck.
  
  
• If your shadow weighs over 100 pounds, you might be a fat-neck.
  
  
• If you say “Trick or Meatloaf” on Halloween, you might be a fat-neck.
  
  
• If you’ve eaten a can of frosting since beginning to read this post, you might be a fat-neck.