Faster Than a Speeding Bullsh*tter

Weekly weigh-in: 206.3
Loss: -1.7
Total loss: 85.2 lbs.
Emotion: Light-Hearted

It went down like this: I’m playing basketball with some of the guys I regularly hoop with when this very large African-American gentleman strides out onto the court. Since I’m the tallest guy out there besides him (I’m 6’4”… he’s about 6’7”) we’re matched up against one another. It takes me about ten seconds of gameplay to realize that this dude is pretty good. Part of the reason is that he starts trash-talking. After spinning and shooting a little hook shot over me, he starts yammering “This little guy can’t hold me!”

Little guy? Little guy? Are you kiddin’ me?

Testosterone a’ragin’, I knuckle down and try to “D” up on LeBron. After a few times up and down the court, I notice that the big man is huffing and puffing like nobody’s business, doubled up and grabbing hold of his shorts. Even though I’ve already been playing for over an hour, I’m still feeling fresh as a daisy. So a mischievous smile crosses my lips, and I begin the white-boy version of trash-talkin’: “Giddyup, Shaq. We’re gonna get out and run a little bit now.”

So on the next few possessions, I sprinted all-out and left Big Daddy eating my dust. I’m serious… I got worried that he was going to have a heart attack on me. As I was running this large man absolutely ragged and scoring at will, I felt a surge of pride at another payoff from months of hard work, hours and hours of intense workouts and extra effort. There’s not a lot of feelings better than being more fit than somebody fifteen years younger than you.

And big man, if you're reading: "DON'T BRING THAT WEAK SH*T UP IN MY HOUSE!"

Speaking of large African-American men, 266 bestowed this award on me (266 doesn’t include a name or pic on the blog, so I just assume it’s a large African-American man).

There’re a bunch of blah-blah-blah rules, the crux of which is that I have to pass it along to five more blogs. I kind of hate to play favorites, so I’m going to give it to five blogs that I just made up on the spot…

Me-Me at No Mo’ Mu-Mu for Me-Me
John at Johnny B. Hungry
Ms. Bevahin’ at A Little Less Ms. Behavin’
Tequila Mockingbird at Starving for Attention
The Mad Fatter at Malice in Onederland

Anyway, I’m proud of pulling a respectable loss during Thanksgiving week. I overdid it a little bit on the chocolate pecan pie, but I also overdid it on the exercise all week long. Nice start to the holidays, if you ask me…