Dial-A-Spiel

I don’t know exactly how much encouragement you need today… a gentle nudge, a swift firm kick in the seat of the pants or my patented scorched-earth special. Whatever level of push you require, I’ve crafted this post to suit your needs. Just follow the color-coded key to dial up (or down) the rhetoric.

You are on a weight-loss journey, and you’ve been doing pretty well not doing as well as you should sucking ass. The thing is, there’s a world of health and opportunity out there and it’s time for you to grab your fair share. Because, let’s face it, you deserve it it’s not going to come looking for you you’re acting about as interested as a dead squirrel.

Rise up and make this happen, my friend. Get busy and get going get your life started get your head out of your ass. The time is now, and you need to reach out and take it you need to act like you give a damn you need to quit being a big–and I mean “big”–baby and start doing it. That’s right, it’s time to get going it’s time to do it if you’re ever gonna to do it it’s time to put your large girl panties on and act like you want it.

You know the drill. You know what you need to do and you know that it’s in you to do it. I truly believe that if you seek greatness, you will find it if you want it badly enough you’ll find a way to find success you won't find it unless you get serious enough to slide your Titantic-sized ass right by all these icebergs.

Do you really want it? Well, if you do then you really need to step it up and take it you really need to push yourself to another level you need to quit being a whiny little b*tch and get after it.

It’s time for you to get your head in the right place, and put the focus on what exactly needs to be done. The day ahead is bright and beautiful and there’s absolutely no reason that you can’t achieve every goal you’ve set for yourself dig down a little deeper and tap into that well of strength and determination that dwells inside you quit eating like a grizzly bear at an all-you-can-eat salmon and honeycomb buffet.

Be the person that deep down you know you can be, that strong-willed trooper with brains and will-power, the drive to succeed and the heart to go the distance. Anything less would be selling yourself short would leave you knowing that you cheated yourself out of the future you deserve and I’ll come to your house and hit you upside the head with an ironing board.

You can do this! I know you can, and more importantly, I think you know you can. And I truly believe this: you’ll soon be making enormous strides and accomplishing great things the sooner you get really serious about this journey, the sooner you’ll start standing in front of the mirror and admiring a fitter new you if you’re here for serious weight loss advice, you’re in worse shape than I realized.

This is a great adventure and I wish you all the best all the success you deserve would begin already.