I'm Sorry, Johnny Cash

I smell that bread a bakin’.
It’s cooling on the rack.
And I ain’t had carbohydrates since... oh, six months back.
I'm stuck on this low-carb diet, and time keeps draggin' by.
And I’d sell my soul on eBay… for a slice of apple pie.

When I was getting started, my doctor told me, son.
If you eat a hot dog, don't ever eat the bun.
It’ll take some Michelob Ultra, just to wash it down.
When I see others eating, I hang my head and frown.

I bet there's thin folks eating in a fancy restaurant.
They're probably ordering French fries and eatin’ all they want.
Well I know I had this coming; I know I can't eat free.
But these people carbo-loadin’,
Well, that's what tortures me.

Well, if they freed me from this diet,
And I could eat whatever I covet,
I’d order a whole pizza, man. I’m sure I’d really love it.
But I’m sticking to this low-carb diet, that's where I’m gonna stay.
Til’ one day in the future... I weigh what I wanna weigh.

For Oct and my other low-carb eatin’ pals.