More Things I Might Have Twatted If I Twittered

• “Still on the lookout for Sugar-Free Pixie Stix.”
• “I think I’m having hunger labor pains.”
• “Carrot cake counts as a vegetable, right?”
• “NSV today: got on elevator and person didn’t automatically check the sign for the weight limit.”
• “Reminder: not every fat lady is pregnant.”
• “I could sure go for some empty calories right about now.”
• “Couldn’t work out this morning--too many old people in there.”
• “I lost the cupcake fight.”
• “Yesterday’s post felt a wee bit too seriousy.”
• “Some people say I have too much time on my hands. Let me consider that for nine or ten hours…”
• “Ran out of spinach, so made Green Monster with ice cream, marshmallows and green food coloring. Surprisingly, it tasted pretty good.”
• “Still trying to figure out this ‘kilogram’ and ‘stone’ business.”
• “Snack time. Trying to decide between handful of raw almonds or candy apple.”
• “Well, the ‘Buy One, Get One Free” cinnamon bun offer was about to expire…”
• “What is my ungodly fascination with taffy?”
• “Yay! Didn’t get cheese sauce on my brocolli (went with caramel instead).
• “They say nothing rhymes with ‘orange.’ Well, what about ‘car hinge’? Huh? Huh!?!
• “Referring to your personal trainer as a ‘sweat monkey’ isn’t necessarily a good idea.”
• “Rice cakes make dandy coasters.”
• “Ouch… I think I’ve got ‘blogger’s ass.’”
• “‘Jack Tw*t’ has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”