More, More, More Fitness Center Conversation Starters

• “Would you like a puff of this?”
• “My new workout outfit is a little tight. I got it at Gymboree.”
• “Do you know if this treadmill goes slower than 0.1?”
• “Will you give me an honest assessment of my glutes?”
• “But these are my workout flip-flops.”
• “Circuit training? No, I’m doing circus training.”
• “Check out how ripped I am. Yeah, I mean my pants.”
• “Dude, you’d better get those poppy veins looked at.”
• “I like to listen to nature sounds on my iPod when I’m on the treadmill; I can almost imagine I’m actually walking outside.”
• “Could I borrow a dab of your human growth hormone?”
• “I’m going no carbs as soon as I finish this loaf of French bread.”
• “I think there’s too much ‘ham’ in my hamstring.”
• “I always thought ‘BMI’ stood for ‘Bowel Movement Index.’”
• “This Powerade tastes like p*ss; oh, waitaminute…”
• “My personal trainer is hiding from me. Again.”
• “You know what would be a cool name for an exercise: ‘The Abdominal Snowman.’”
• “Yes, I am Jack Sh*t. Oh, I’m sorry; I thought you asked me if I was Jack Sh*t.”