Even More Fitness Center Conversation Starters

Seeing as I spend a good deal of time at the gym, I'm always trying to strike up a conversation with the person working out beside me. I don't know why it fails more often than not...

• “Dude, you look like one of those weightlifter dudes.”
• “Can I borrow your iPod for a while?”
• “I’m training for a 401-K.”
• “I can do 500 sit-ups. Well, not all at one time…”
• “Did you know that humans produce about 10,000 gallons of saliva in a lifetime?”
• “Do you know if this treadmill goes backwards?”
• “I got kicked out of my last gym. Excessive yodeling.”
• “Pork rind?”
• “Excuse me, do you know of any personal trainers that don’t mind being paid in yarn?”
• “Sorry, I thought two people could do this machine at the same time.”
• “You’re a regular Sweaty Betty, aren’t you?”
• “Excuse me, do you have any Grey Poupon?”
• “Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?”
• “Did somebody poot?”
• “Excuse me. I'm from the FBI…the Fine Body Investigators… and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.”
• “I work in the beverage industry, and I’ll let you in on a little secret: Gatorade and Kool-Aid are exactly the same drink. Exactly!”
• “They say Hitler loved his elliptical machine.”
• “Y’know, Dina pees in the shower.”
• “I’m exercising my mind right now, thank you very much.”
• “Race ya. Yeah, I realize they’re stationary bikes; it was just a conversation starter I read on some stupid blog.”