Old Jack Sh*tter
Old Jack Sh*tter was a fat ol’ man.
He ate hash browns from the frying pan.
He wore blue jeans that were way too tight,
And he never could stick to his diet.
Life’s not good for old Jack Sh*tter.
He just ate an apple fritter.
Fritter’s gone, makes him go nuts.
He just left to get more donuts.
Old Jack Sh*tter
Went to town.
Stopped at every buffet around.
Ate like it was some kind of sickness.
Put three restaurants out of business.
Get out the way for ol’ Jack Sh*tter.
Obesity has made him bitter.
Bitter now, but better he’ll be,
When he quits being so B-I-G.
Jack finally started to fly straight.
Begun doing something ‘bout his weight.
Got a fire–not food–in his belly.
Excercisin’ and eating healthy.
Get out the way for new Jack Sh*tter.
Providing health tips there on Twitter.
Twitter, sure, and he’s got a blog, too.
He sure hopes you'll get more fit, too.
Stopped at every buffet around.
Ate like it was some kind of sickness.
Put three restaurants out of business.
Get out the way for ol’ Jack Sh*tter.
Obesity has made him bitter.
Bitter now, but better he’ll be,
When he quits being so B-I-G.
Jack finally started to fly straight.
Begun doing something ‘bout his weight.
Got a fire–not food–in his belly.
Excercisin’ and eating healthy.
Get out the way for new Jack Sh*tter.
Providing health tips there on Twitter.
Twitter, sure, and he’s got a blog, too.
He sure hopes you'll get more fit, too.
Lady Belunge-a
Lady Belunge-a in the back of the gym,
Lunge so strong as you lunge each limb.
Watching yourself on the mirror on the wall,
You’re such an inspiration to us all.
Laaaaaaaaaady Belunge-a
Laaaaaaaaaady Belunge-a,
With your perfect form,
I’m so in awe
Of you, so lunge-y.
Way over yonder where the big weights sit,
Where you lift and curse and spit,
The weights go up and the weights go down,
See the muscles squirting out of your gown.
Laaaaaaaaaady Belunge-a
Oh, Laaaaaaaaaady Belunge-a,
Keep on doing great,
Keep on going strong, we like to watch you.
When it’s dark, I’m home and fed.
I think I coulda done like you instead.
Tomorrow’s coming, my gym bag’s packed.
I might. Who knows? I might.
Say, Say, Oh Weigh-mate
Say, say, oh weigh-mate,
Come on and weigh with me.
We’ll hit the scale, you see,
And lose a pound or three.
Shout out our progress.
It’ll make our spirits soar!
And we’ll be bloggy friends,
And lose some more, more, more, more.
Say, say, oh weigh-mate.
I cannot weigh with you.
This week I ate a slew.
Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo.
Ain’t got no excuses.
Ain’t gonna be like before.
Back being bloggy friends,
And lose some more, more, more, more.
Come on and weigh with me.
We’ll hit the scale, you see,
And lose a pound or three.
Shout out our progress.
It’ll make our spirits soar!
And we’ll be bloggy friends,
And lose some more, more, more, more.
Say, say, oh weigh-mate.
I cannot weigh with you.
This week I ate a slew.
Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo.
Ain’t got no excuses.
Ain’t gonna be like before.
Back being bloggy friends,
And lose some more, more, more, more.
